Posts Tagged ‘anti-social behaviour (mild)’

An open letter to my neighbour.

June 29, 2009

Dear Neighbour,

I completely understand that, as a responsible parent, you do not wish your offspring to beĀ  wobbling, wheezing, truly foul specimins of the country’s child obesity problem. What I don’t get is why you persist on locking them in the 6×4 concreted area that masquerades as your garden, to stand facing the closed back door and scream like banshees for what feels like hours on end, when they clearly don’t want to be there.

They’re driving me mad.

Please desist, or I will be forced to erect a banner outside your property stating that Father Christmas doesn’t exist. At least then the little shitbags will actually have a reason to be upset.

Yours Sincerely




October 25, 2008


Now officially the most anti-social person on the 404.

September 23, 2008

I had an accident on the bus this morning. I think I did anyway. The man next to me moved, not to two vacant seats, but to sit next to the very large lady that gets on at the hospital and smells funny.

What did I do?

I think I launched into song. More worrying, if I did, the song in question was The Sign by early 90’s Scandinavian pop nightmare Ace of Base.

I really need to delete all the crap off my ipod, I really do.